I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
