if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
