I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
