I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
