it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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