You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
