My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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