WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
