Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
