So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
