I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
