and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
