nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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