What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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