you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
