I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
