i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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