Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
