You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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