Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
