Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
