Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
