i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
