he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
