So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
