You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize