I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
