Having a random hookup so left but love u
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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