just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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