i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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