I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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