we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
