I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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