he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
