worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Is Oprah even human
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
