They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize