Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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