Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
