I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
