I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize