Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
