is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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