Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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