Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
