If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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