was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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