His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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