We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
