what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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