I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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