I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
