We got so high we made milksteak
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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