He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
