Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
