i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
