Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Randomize
