Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
