Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
